Pot, porn, penguin sex, and all.

Dear L,

I've recently been reading a book titled Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. And by "recently," I actually mean "the past two days." Maybe you've heard of this book or maybe you haven't. I heard about this book a few years ago from some friends and I refused to read it.

Until yesterday.

I'll be completely honest. I was wary of reading this book because I didn't want to become another victim of some passing-craze in the Christian subculture. Over the past few years, I've begun to develop an aversion to "fads" (be it a phrase like "W.W.J.D" or even literature like "The Prayer of Jabez") that seem to sweep Christians across our nation off their feet. While the intent behind such ideas may be "good," to me, they just come off as another way to somehow cut off ourselves from the world, in a bad way. I had no idea what this book was about. I assumed it was some book giving Christians yet another formula to follow to "live in a more godly way" or "hear God better."

I was wrong. And I am so glad. There are countless quotes from this book that I want to include in this entry, but then, I might as well just retype this whole book. Which I won't do. But at least to give you an idea of what this book is all about, I'll share with you what is written on the page titled "Author's Note":

I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.
After that I liked jazz music.
Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.
I used to not like God because God didn't resolve. But that was before any of this happened.
- Donald Miller

I read that yesterday and before I knew it, I was on page 35. I know why I cannot tear myself away from this book. It is because it is honest and real, and I mean really honest and real. This book is a compilation of his honest thoughts on Christianity - how we can get so caught up in religion that we miss the point (aka LOVE); how there are people who do not label themselves "Christians" but know so much more about what it means to love than people who do call themselves "Christians"; how we often confuse "faith" with "feeling"... the list could go on. This guy's thoughts echo so many of the thoughts that have been spinning around in my head. It's not sugarcoated at all. It's completely human. Pot, porn, penguin sex, and all.

There are seasons of my life when I feel like I can say with confidence that "God is real" and "Jesus is God." But then, there are so many more seasons of my life when I try to explain this "belief" out loud and I just feel outright silly. There's a God? He became a man? Do I just believe this because I was raised this way? I am in this season right now.

And trust me. I've tried to break away and figure things out on my own. But I keep coming back to this God thing, this Jesus thing, and I can't tell you why. I don't know why.

All I'm really sure of is that GOD DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. I don't think He's supposed to.

And that intrigues me. Because humans by nature want to make sense of things. Of everything. And maybe some can argue that the concept of God is another way of making sense of things.

But what if in fact He is real, and there is eternal life after we leave this earth? What if we truly were designed to live forever? Maybe that's why it hurts so much to say goodbye to people. Because it wasn't meant to be that way.

I don't know. I just read over these past couple of paragraphs and I sound like I'm crazy.

But it's whatever.

All I'm saying is that this is one hell of a book.

You should read it.

Love,
G Love