Pan Plan Pain Plane Pan

Dear Hannah G Love [and anyone who reads this],

Writing is my release. I am not so good with speaking--it always comes out pausy and weird...and usually not what I intended lol. But writing makes sense. So my head is crammed and empty at the exact same time. And since I have no idea where I am going with my music these days, I figured I might as well keep writing blogs until I figure it out. I have to get this out somehow.

God directs us, right? He directs us in our path. He makes sure that we are going the right way and He is always speaking to us. He doesn't sit back on His throne in Heaven, wind up a clock, and say, "Here goes nothing!" He is always working in us.

So He has a specific plan for me. A specific plot and a specific scheme. From the time that I was born to the time that I die, God wants to use me in every way possible. He doesn't want me to be in pain, but He does put me through tests? Tests to see if I am living by faith. Tests to make sure that I am not trying to control everything. Tests for me to grow.

So God has promised me a whole lot. He has promised me life, grace, mercy, forgiveness, life, love, life, love; the list goes on and on. He has promised me a purpose and He has promised me gift after gift.

He is walking with me down this narrow path and I can only see a few feet in front of me at a time. Everything around me is dark except for a small light shining down through two clouds. This light steers the way for my feet. My feet stumble and I trip a lot. I fall onto the dusty ground. The ground is cold and gravity tries to keep me there. The ground tries to tell me that I should turn to the dark. I should turn to anything except for the light for help. I am too tired to question it, so I do end up turning around. Running away.

Eventually I need light again. My eyes are blinded from being in the dark for too long. I crawl back to the lighted strip of land, hopeless and hopeful. The light is a shock to my system. From there God picks me up and carries me back to where I need to be. And I feel somewhat stronger than I was before. Only because Christ strengthened me.

We all need to be reminded every day of God's love. Because it only takes one negative thought for you to want to turn around. To run away. To try and control the plan. BUT GOD! GOD has it down! If we could just see it and live it. Everyday.

Love,
Hannah L