Wednesday, May 4, 2011

post portfolio traumatic stress disorder: day 1

This morning I woke up confused, my heart racing. I had one of the most disturbing dreams of my life. I tried to explain it to you when I woke up, but none of it made any sense. Sigh. I went to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. Still bothered, I decided I should eat something for the first time since two days ago. Thinking about the possibility of having to answer ANY question about ANY topic IN THE WORLD by the Music Education faculty didn't make food very appetizing.

I had peanut butter toast and bananas for breakfast and headed over to the library. Now I'm sitting here in my favorite spot: the orange plaid chair by the window with the heater that I put my feet on.

I feel like I am not fully planted on the ground, and that there is something or someone behind me. I keep checking my phone to see what time it is in case I forgot about something I needed to do. This is really weird. Should I keep practicing my speech and keep studying my Critical Pedagogy flash cards? Just in case, I still have my notes up on Microsoft Word. I still have a map of Libya Googled on my computer.

What do I do now? Well I mean...I do have my theory project, theory exam, race class and gender paper and voice observation papers. but those seem like a piece of cake.
What about after those things are over?

My eyes are REALLY sensitive to light for some reason. Did I become a vampire? I'm looking kind of pale too..

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